I had a conversation with a friend earlier this week and we were talking about my pivotal moments. It’s crazy how just a few years ago I had uprooted my life back to Toronto in search for greener pastures. It seems my life path has always been out of urgency and great importance to me myself and I. I’ve entertained a lot of self-justification for my actions and forced many around me to accept my ways too. I’ll never forget about the friends I’ve left behind. No matter what, they have always encouraged me to keep going even if it meant I would be half way around the world. (I love you guys!!) My trip back in May taught me a lot:
- Every choice you make is always an opportunity cost.
Being back in Canada allowed me to reflect on my own decisions and my own path. If I stayed in Toronto and pursued a full-time job in Fashion, where would I have ended up? If I continued to pursue acting, what roles would have come my way? If I never left the West Coast would my life be completely different? I have friends from different points in my life and I get super envious. Whether it is starting a family earlier, or sticking to the same job, living in the same house and having all your family members closeby; these are things I often take for granted.
2. Splitting yourself is not an option.
My dream superpower has always been to clone myself. So I can do everything I want in all the cities I used to live in. I wrote about this before about living in two cities and it was the most difficult thing to overcome. Many years later, I find myself struggling with the same issue. It’s the biggest case of FOMO (Fear of missing out) cuz you’re always searching for options.
3. The grass is greener where you water it.
Comparing one city to another is common but its hard to make an accurate distinction because the grass will always be greener where you water it. As I’ve been attempting to grow my reach outside my home market, it hasn’t been easy. I’ll be the first to admit that I have drifted to a point of complacency because I’m finally seeing the fruits of my labour and I have to jump ship again (for the 3rd time after Toronto and Hong Kong). It is never a fair comparison, but it is a decision that has to be considered with true commitment.
4. Whatever happens will happen anyway.
We (I) always think about the what ifs, the back up guys, the I-almost experiences that we could have, should have, may have had. But honestly, those are only excuses to mask how we feel about our current situation and our need to hedge our bets. We’ve already picked this route, we’re already headed down this path and it will bring new adventures and new heartaches and new bags of shits that will force us to think about ourselves again. Don’t keep looking back and think about yesterday’s home runs, they don’t win your games today. Look back only to see how far you’ve come.
This week has been a killer one for me, because I’ve been doing a lot of behind-the-scenes work and less on my own projects. As I’m growing my company and trying to do what I can with what I have, I see my artistes have the same kind of struggles. They are always questioning if one path is better than the other, or if they should stick to one thing or quickly diversify to cast a wider net. I usually think I know better but even I struggle with that myself. I’d hate to tell someone something to realise that it was bad advice. But what I do know is that you will always own your own path, that whatever was meant for you will come. All your mistakes and lessons will help you become the person you were meant to be. Trust the timing of your life.