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ThoughtsNovember 27, 2014

Forgiving myself.

By admin

I’ve been struggling with my own personal development because I have issues with letting go.

This year has been all about confronting my demons. Taking control and leading a fearless life – “one of my F words”. Much like a bad relationship, its hard to shake off the bad habits, the simple things that keep you safe while you’re trying to ignore the bad parts. Its November. I think its time that I get out of it.
Although much of my lifestyle, my goals, my dreams have changed from when I first stepped onto Malaysian soil to begin my career, I haven’t come to terms with my bad decisions in the past. Everyone has moved on, everything has moved on. Life flows like a river and what was once there is not there anymore so there isn’t anyone holding me back but myself. Before, I masked many of my decisions with defiance but it actually was the complete opposite. I was scared, I was hurt and mostly scarred from words that should’ve never entered my psyche or energy. Even though I am no longer in that place and moreover had forgiven people that needed to be forgiven, I still haven’t forgiven the most important person in my life, myself.
I’m at the foot of a hill and still scared to climb this “forgiveness” peak. I dwell on the past and as much as I try to look forward, its like this ball and chain which keeps me back. I create new rules so I don’t have deal with some of my issues. I let people in but I get scared, so I push them away before they even get close.
I don’t want to carry forward this bad energy to the next year. Enough is enough.
Problem is, I don’t know where to begin…

bad habits, forgiveness, journey, letting go, personal, sarah lian
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    We all got dressed up for @roshanvaliram’s birthday celebrations last night! Pulled this gown by @syomirizwagupta out of my closet to look the part! (Thank God I still fit!) It was so good to connect with so many faces I haven’t seen in ages and the best thing about friendships are the laughter, the connection and how they bring out the best in you. In isolation, we learn how to connect with ourselves but in communities we learn how to connect with others. When we learn how celebrate one another, we give ourselves the permission to celebrate us. ❤️Happy birthday Roshan! #allineedislove ... See MoreSee Less

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    A celebration of new beginnings! @supparetreat has a new space that we are sharing with @wondrouscurations! Can’t wait to share more with all of you. But first, let’s eat more cake!! ✨✨✨#supparetreat #wondrouscurations ... See MoreSee Less

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