logo
logo
  • Home
  • About
  • Projects
  • Thoughts
logo
  • Home
  • About
  • Projects
  • Thoughts
Personal ThoughtsOctober 11, 2009

Resentment

By admin

jelly
(Jellyfish at Ocean Park)
I’m on Day 3 of The Purpose Driven Life – by Rick Warren.
I decided to try it out because I’ve been very goal driven in the past few months, aimlessly seeking for achievement. Sometimes people ask me why I push myself so hard, and I just give more and more reasons but sometimes I don’t even know. I have drive, I just don’t have direction anymore…
In this chapter, it talks about “What Drives Your Life?” and it begins to list down some of the reasons as to why people are driven: guilt, resentment/anger, fear, materialism, and a need for approval. I rarely identify with these things because I usually think I’m driven by positive aspects in my life. However, I caught up with some of my Van-Tdot friends in HK tonight and it shed a lot of light, which then further reinforced my attitude on life.
We were lamenting on my days in Tdot and I started getting so worked up about the last official guy I had dated, which not only scarred me, but left me with so much bitterness. As we started talking about how I left Toronto, my girl Jenny told me how surprised she was about how it still bothered me. In many ways, I haven’t let go, even after flying half way around the world to be a better person. She spoke about my accomplishments in Asia and how this resentment was not healthy because it still overshadowed everything I had worked for. She shed light on what I had read earlier in the day:

Those who have hurt you in the past, can’t continue to hurt you any longer unless you hold on to the pain through resentment. Your past is past, nothing will change it. You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness. For your own sake, learn from it and let it go.

It always seem easier said than done, but I don’t know why I can’t seem to let it go. Perhaps its a girl thing to sit and dwell on the bad things people do to us. Its just hard to forget the memories that are too painful, and thinking about it just angers me so much. By completely ignoring it for so long, I finally have to deal with it.
Sometimes I think I have battered-woman syndrome and being under physical and emotional abuse can really make one afraid to even consider trust in a relationship. Periodically, he emails me with the same tone and same aggressiveness masked under his insecurity. I take the high road ignoring his emails and reminding him that he doesn’t exist in my life. But tonight, I plan to make amends with myself, by making peace with my past and get closure…(f-ing off to KL didn’t exactly give me that) I’m not angry anymore, I just don’t care and I don’t want any part of it. Two years is long enough to be angry at someone that doesn’t matter.
Hahaha, maybe after this I can date like a normal person again! 😉

anger, bad relationships, bitterness, distrust, insecurity, purpose driven life, resentment, rick warren
Previous BCBG Max Azria for Chic Cocktail Dresses
Next AW77 Goes to Lantau Island

Related Posts

Happy Sunday

Having Faith

Hiding Out

Comment

There is no comment on this post. Be the first one.

Leave a comment or Cancel Reply

  • Instagram

    In bed before midnight. 😴 In bed before midnight. 😴
    A celebration of new beginnings! @supparetreat has A celebration of new beginnings! @supparetreat has a new space that we are sharing with @wondrouscurations! Can’t wait to share more with all of you. But first, let’s eat more cake!! ✨✨✨

#supparetreat #wondrouscurations
    This year has been memorable for many reasons and This year has been memorable for many reasons and it has been the year where I have introduced more self-acceptance in my journey. The feeling of lack and the needing to compare has faded into the opportunity to celebrate joy. 

By the act of surrender and flowing into alignment, the gift of abundance has been more evident than ever. Whatever I do to give comes back ten-fold through friendships, relationships and partnerships. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to close out my birthday and give a treat to those who don’t often feel celebrated. I wanted to share my blessings with them. 

Thank you @mykyochon for helping me organise, @ngohub.asia for helping me discover @destinywelfare and @nadiahnasirr / @heyjnrjh for being a part of this. 

More importantly thank you to Irene for offering these children a solid education during these formative years. 

Everyone remembers kindness and it is never a random act. ❤️

#slaywithkindness #destinywelfarecentre
    Jessie: Ewwww get away, I don’t want to take you Jessie: Ewwww get away, I don’t want to take your stupid photos. 

Me: C’mon just like we practiced! 

Jessie: Fine, just a smiling one and I’m out! 

😂😂😂

#jessiesgirl #rescuedog #fosterfail
    I’m reminded it’s a Public Holiday today, I ma I’m reminded it’s a Public Holiday today, I may or may not be walking around like this…taking drink orders. 😂 

“Teh Ais satu!”
    These aunties are getting old! Esp when 10:30pm is These aunties are getting old! Esp
when 10:30pm is time for bedtime. Thanks ladies for the little treat and redefining “old” at this age! 😂😂😂😂 #goldencircle
    Licks to atone for living rent free and opening my Licks to atone for living rent free and opening my presents. 😒
    Oh gosh! I was feeling the love yesterday from fri Oh gosh! I was feeling the love yesterday from friends and family. I felt so grateful to have everyone in my life, especially those who have taken the time to send birthday wishes. The pink candle represents the last year of this decade for me! So it was indeed a special one. My friends know me best when it comes down to being celebrated on my special day! How can one complain when there is an abundance of love being showered over me. Thank you for one of the best birthdays yet! 🥰🥰🥰 

#donttellmom
    Been uploading some stuff on the site and found th Been uploading some stuff on the site and found these old pics from my shoots of yesteryear. I’m old guys, I’ve been in this industry for 20 years!!!! 

Sympathy likes please. 🫣
    Follow on Instagram
  • Facebook

    Sarah Lian

    6 days ago

    Sarah Lian
    In bed before midnight. 😴 ... See MoreSee Less

    Photo

    View on Facebook
    · Share

    Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

    Sarah Lian

    7 days ago

    Sarah Lian
    A celebration of new beginnings! @supparetreat has a new space that we are sharing with @wondrouscurations! Can’t wait to share more with all of you. But first, let’s eat more cake!! ✨✨✨#supparetreat #wondrouscurations ... See MoreSee Less

    Photo

    View on Facebook
    · Share

    Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

    Sarah Lian

    1 week ago

    Sarah Lian
    This year has been memorable for many reasons and it has been the year where I have introduced more self-acceptance in my journey. The feeling of lack and the needing to compare has faded into the opportunity to celebrate joy.By the act of surrender and flowing into alignment, the gift of abundance has been more evident than ever. Whatever I do to give comes back ten-fold through friendships, relationships and partnerships. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to close out my birthday and give a treat to those who don’t often feel celebrated. I wanted to share my blessings with them. Thank you @mykyochon for helping me organise, @ngohub.asia for helping me discover @destinywelfare and @nadiahnasirr / @heyjnrjh for being a part of this. More importantly Irene for offering these children a chance for these kids to get a solid education during these formative years. Everyone remembers kindness and it is never a random act. ❤️ ... See MoreSee Less

    Video

    View on Facebook
    · Share

    Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

  • Profile

© 2018 SarahLian.com. All rights reserved.