It’s already April and we’ve already passed Q1 of 2021. Last month was all about women (yay!) and I had the privilege of being interviewed by a few publications on my work with female empowerment through Supparetreat. The idea of empowerment has been thrown around and its become this overarching theme to help women rise up. While I’m grateful to be one of the faces to lead this forward, I wanted to share what it means to me personally.
I took a weekend seminar a couple weekends ago with Globe / Money and You’s transformational program, Evolve XP as an invited guest from Terence and Jacy. I woke up at 6am on Friday/Saturday to participate in their online experience. Not knowing what to expect, I came with an open mind to learn and absorb anything I could take away from the two days. One of the exercises was incredibly memorable and it was to share with your group a moment when I felt empowered and another when I felt disempowered. Here were my anecdotes:
I felt empowered when I was creating transformational experiences in Supparetreat. Women who were a part of my program were able to work on themselves in a way that they hadn’t discovered before. The coaches armed with the right intention helped them ignite the fire within to unlock their pain into power. Witnessing this process was incredibly empowering for me because it only encouraged me to cement my purpose in helping others, but it also allowed me to heal through similar stories being shared. I was them and they were me, and I wanted so badly to see them win.
I felt disempowered when I found myself in situations where I felt stuck and jailed in my own thoughts. These moments of disempowerment were found in my bouts of toxic relationships. I lost myself in relationships that I place so much power on. I sought worth through my partners and would select them in a way that would elevate my perceived value of self. I would victimise myself when I was not aligned in them and shift the responsibility on others to help me because I didn’t have a way out.
But there’s always a way out.
The difference between the two states of empowered and disempowered is choice. In my empowered state, not only did I have choices for myself, I was helping others look at their choices as well. Whoever felt stuck, found solutions for their situations. They no longer thought in absolutes… “I’m not the kind of person that xxxx….or I would never xxxx”. They were looking at possibilities.
In my disempowered state, not only were there impossible blocks in my situations, but I would be defensive and create/add-on excuses when people offered solutions. I would tell them that it was not possible, not worth trying, all roads were dead ends. I would keep myself in this lower level vibration assuming any option was futile. In actuality, I was afraid of what consequences would come after if I made a choice, so I kept myself safe by staying there. But really, I was silently suffering.
Choice is essential for any practice you take on and when you are not conscious about the choices you make, you unconsciously and unknowingly choose through fear.
Choice is essential for any practice you take on and when you are not conscious about the choices you make, you unconsciously and unknowingly choose through fear. Breakups are hard and we try to avoid feeling pain. The stages of grief come in and after you’ve accepted the situation, you try to either numb out or move on to focus on other things instead. Rarely do we sit and let all the pain flow in and release. Experiencing pain is the path to least resistance, acceptance is the path to least resistance, but you have to allow these feelings to pass or else you’re just storing this trauma in your body. I realise I have a bad habit of getting into new relationships quickly to push my past relationships down the timeline but I wanted to stop this pattern. I really wanted to be conscious about what I was doing and why I was doing it.
I took time to notice my attachments to things, my need to seek attention and also the uncomfortable aspect of being in a place that I didn’t imagine for myself. Holding on to resentment or anger meant that I was blocking myself from the love that wanted to come through. So I had to ask myself, what could I learn from each situation? How could I be grateful despite the difficulties or confronting aspects of myself? Slowly these points of self-reflection placed less importance on others and I could take more responsibilities of my outcome, despite my lack of control.
So if you’re reading this and you’re feeling down and out. Think about your choices with these 3 questions:
- Where are you choosing from?
- What choice do you make?
- How will you be after you make the choice?
You have to really imagine your outcome and think about what you want. Once you make your choices, create structures to support your choice. Not only will you feel more empowered, but you will empower others to do the same. That’s what I’ve noticed in my own personal journey. The more I step into my own light, the more others feel compelled to do the same for themselves. Fast forward, it’s been almost a year of navigating this journey of self-discovery alone and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.
It hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it to have this new found freedom in my choices.
It’s scary because you’re challenging patterns and core beliefs that you need to unlearn about yourself. Self-worth is so important because it affects all your relationships; family, career, romance and friendships. But once you find yourself, you will become a beacon of light that will empower others in the most fundamental ways…and I choose to do it from a place of love. Sending love to anyone that is having difficulties making choices. If there’s a will, there’s a way.