I’ve never truly understood the meaning of peace as I have now. If last year’s word was surrender, then its more evident that this year is peace. My motto for 2021 was about being unstoppable when I wrote it in December and upon reflection, it feels more aligned than ever.
The only way to evolve from a storm is to find the calm. After spending most of the year in solitude, the nights are quieter, I can hear my rescue Jessie nestled in her bed while I type away past my bedtime. To be honest, I’ve only come to this calm in the past week or so, what seemed to be an unstoppable trajectory planned out in the beginning of 2021 has really been the complete opposite with practically a repeat of 2020.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t sit in guilt trying to push and push for things to happen. As much as I wanted to do more, something in me just wasn’t aligned. I wanted to go crazy with my work, create incredible campaigns, get my team to start working on them but nothing ever really stuck. I’d be an expert at my own procrastination techniques and then by the time I could get to it, I’d just completely forget what I needed to do. How can one be unstoppable if you can’t even get started?
So last month in August, I decided to vibrate higher. I did that by doing less. What that meant was that I didn’t worry as much, I held up my abundance mindset, spread love and positivity and fully embraced the idea that when my ideas were going to land, that it would finally be aligned. I didn’t feel sad for myself, I truly lived life the way I wanted to. And you know what? It worked!
Peace occurs when you don’t turn your observations into problems.
- I felt more clarity and alignment with the books I was reading, Atomic Habits was a good one.
- I stopped giving myself rules and order when it came my physical workouts, if I felt like I wanted to do yoga, or 20km spin or 5km jog, I’d just do it.
- I reflected and observed more with ideas that came through without judgement. Characters from my past would pop up in dreams or virtually and I didn’t get angry or irritated, I would just check in with myself.
- I worked on my attachments to people, places and things. I decluttered a few cabinets, boxes and stuff. The more clutter I was able to get rid of, the more space I felt I could make for other things to come through. It’s really fascinating how visual mess can affect the way you feel.
- I changed my methods in the way I interacted with people, opting for fluidity opposed to rigidity and seeing what happens. Even when I could see myself getting triggered, I’d opt for peace and not engage, throw some compassion at the people and then walk away. (Who dis?)
- I listened more. I’d randomly join clubhouse rooms and not feel any need to share my two cents, but just listen to others and hold space for them.
- I softened my need to correct and challenge, I’ve become more focused on how I feel than what others think, this gives me more control over my decisions than worrying about everyone else.
I’m not advocating for everyone to do all of this at once because it’s taken a lot of work to get me here. For someone like me who was so used to running away (mentally and geographically), I was able to slowly chip away at my own blocks to live up to my motto: Be unstoppable. It’s easy to make plans but it’s harder to stick to them if you’re not aligned. No matter how far you go, if something doesn’t feel right, there’s no point walking through the same paths again and not learning from it.
I’ll leave you with a little excerpt from the Atomic Habits book:
The first step in any behaviour is observation. You notice a cue, a bit of information, an event. If you do not desire to act on what you observe, then you are at peace. Craving is about wanting to fix everything. Observation without craving is the realisation that you do not need to fix anything. Your desires are not running rampant. You do not crave a change in state. Your mind does not generate a problem for you to solve. You’re simply observing and existing.
Sometimes we are on an endless loop to help others, because the real story is that we want to help ourselves. What I’ve also learnt is that as much as you care about some people, they will make their own mistakes and they may or may not figure it out in the pace you want them to, so no point pushing your agenda. Looking back, I can see how my judgemental lens, predicated on external validation has been hurtful. But now that I know better, not only will I be more empathetic, I’ll just focus on myself and let God lead. Through surrender, I’ve found my freedom and in freedom, I’ve found peace. Now I feel unstoppable.